Musings from the Outland...
Here we find the creative side of the listers ;)
T-Shirts:
From Elena:
(reprinted with her permission.)
Forget all those vests and bodices...
this is what they were *really* wearing!*** The Outlandish T-shirts ***
Bite me
(Bonnet)Broch Mordha Sidekick Academy
Class of '66
(Young Ian)I got this T-shirt for Jemmy's father
...and it was a damn good swap
(Brianna)I Luv Frasers
(Lord John)I'd rather be wool waulking
(Jenny Murray)I'm a bloody filthy pervert and I vote
(Black Jack Randall)I'm with Stupid
(Louise de La Tour)Is that an adamant in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me?
(Geilie Duncan)Jacobites do it over the water
(Dougal MacKenzie)Kiss me, I'm Scottish
(Jamie)Legalize dragon's blood
(Master Raymond)My wife went to the 18th century...
and all I got was this lousy T-shirt!
(Frank Randall)Old MacKenzies never die:
they just lose the plot.
(Jocasta)Sorry, I'm handfast
(Roger)Stop scurvy now - ask me how!
(Claire)Talk to me about my prostate
(Lord Lovat)Ye should ha' seen the one that got away
(Leghair)
*****************New Additions to the T-shirts***
From Elizabeth:WWJD
(What Would Jamie Do)Black Jack Randall's in the Boot
(Sorry Dixie Chick's, Earl's been replaced)
Disney:
What would a Disney animated movie version
of Outlander be like?My initial thoughts:
- Disney has never tackled Scotland (correct me if I'm wrong) -
so they'd go wild with kilts, bagpipes, tartan, haggis, etc.
- they'd take out all the mmphm
- probably eliminate Frank altogether, since the bigamy angle
is too weird
- change the plot to have BJR capture Claire instead of Jamie,
since the gay angle is too weird
- the wolf-fighting scene would be brilliant as an animation - so
would the passage through the stones and the witch-trial
- the Loch Ness monster could come up and do a song
- Claire, Jamie and BJR would all have endearing pets that
talk and sing: maybe Claire comes through the stones with her pet
lizard in her pocket; Jamie has his faithful friend Donas the
horse; and BJR might need a small bad-tempered dog.
- Claire would look rather like Belle, but with curly hair; we
would meet her in the opening scene wandering around on Craigh
na Dun, singing a mournful little song about something missing
in her life...
- we'd meet Jamie manfully resisting the determined advances of
Leghair, singing a mournful little song about how he knows she's
not the right girl for him, how he dreams of finding his one true
love, and how homesick he is for Lallybroch...
- "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!" would become "Oh my goodness!"
(and these changes wouldn't be any more extreme than what Disney
did to the plot of H.C. Anderson's "The Little Mermaid")What else could they do with Outlander?
Traveling Through Time:
A Sing-A-Long
Sang to the tune of Auld Lang Syne.Verse 1: Claire
When I got married to a Scot,
Two hundred years ago,
It started off a tangled plot...
For details, see below.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are
Just traveling through time,
For at least two novels more we'll keep on
Traveling through time!Verse 2: Jamie
I'm a sensitive young Highlander,
Your fantasies come true!
I joke, I fight, I'm great in bed,
And I share my feelings, too.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are
Just traveling through time,
For at least two novels more we'll keep on
Traveling through time!Verse 3: Leghair
I'm vital to this storyline -
I almost get Claire fried.
It drives me out of my tiny mind
Seeing Jamie by her side!Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 4: BJR
When I got Jamie in my power
And had my wicked way,
How the hell was I to know
He'd cut off my balls one day?Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 5: Frank Randall
Imagine how surprised I was
When Claire came back again,
And added to my family tree
A branch I can't explain.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 6: Claire
Twenty years of flashbacks pass:
I'm a surgeon, raising Bree.
I take hot baths, I need cold showers,
Then it's back through time for me!Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 7: Jamie
I've been in jail, I have a son,
I faint on seeing Claire.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot?
It should, if it's Leghair.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 8: Geillis Duncan
Whichever century I'm in,
My husband ends up dead.
I was doing great as a Jacobite -
Until I lost my head.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 9: Brianna
I look like Xena with red hair,
I go back through the Stones.
Don't know who Jemmy's father is,
But there's no doubt who's my own.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 10: Lord John
He broke my arm, he broke my heart,
Oh why is he so straight?
I'm now the father of his son,
And I think his daughter's great.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 11: Roger
The girl I love's gone through the Stones,
And I want to be handfast.
But I get more than I bargained for
When I go into the past.Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are...Verse 12: The Audience
We love these books by Gabaldon,
We drink to her a toast.
Please say it isn't Bonnet's child,
And explain about the ghost!Chorus:
We're traveling through time, we are
Just traveling through time,
For at least two novels more we'll keep on
Traveling through time!(Happy Lughnassadh to all! :)
Elena
Top 10 Excuses for Quitting the List:
10. This group is taking over my life!
I need to eat and sleep for a while.9. I'm sick to death of the damn Ghost.
8. I thought this was a list for people named
Diana, who live in Gabaldon - whoops.7. My dh wants me to quit, because I'm starting
to call him "dh" to his face.6. I'm having myself put under deep sedation
until the 5th book comes out.5. Some people here still refuse to cut and paste.
4. I learned more than I wanted to know
from the circumcision thread.3. I need all my spare time for re-reading the Books.
2. I really like Leghair, and I feel a bit outnumbered.
1. I've found a stone circle - bye, y'all!
Top ways to get your Outlander Fix:
- Carry a large fan and smack short men over the head with it
- During slow moments in the office, strip to the waist, raise
your arms, and spin around shrieking "I am a witch and the
mistress of Satan! My Master comes on the wings of the wind!"- Tell everyone about your family tree
- Always carry a flask of whisky; whenever you get a paper cut,
wash it out with whisky and scream loudly. Drink remaining whisky.- Record your answering machine message in Gaelic
- Get your PC to say "Je suis prest" on startup
- Use a picture of horses mating as a screensaver
- Reset your PC system date to Beltane, 1743
- Spike the office coffee machine with bitter cascara
- Find a male virgin and do something about him!
Top Ten reasons why Claire Beauchamp is better than Scarlett O'Hara:
10. When Claire is 28, her adventures are just getting started.
9. Claire has a real relationship with her daughter.
8. Claire can tell if a man really loves her.
7. Claire doesn't worry about the size of her
waistline till she's 50.6. Claire likes to read.
5. Claire would have Ashley in her bed or
out of her head within 100 pages.4. "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ" vs "Fiddle-dee-dee".
'Nuff said.3. Claire refuses to own slaves.
2. Claire can deliver a baby properly.
1. Claire gets some hot sex more than once.
And - besides everything else - Claire gets *sequels*! :)
Want some crossword puzzels?
A BIG Thank You to Elena for all her wonderful Ideas and for sharing them with us!
From Elizabeth
The Literary Police
Sometimes I'm afraid the Literary Police are
going to show up at my door and demand I turn over my hundreds of contraband Scottish historical romances. And now that the FBI is authorized to access
lists of what you check out from the local library that is a
distinct possibility. My nightmare begins something like this:It's late, I should have stopped hours ago, just one more chapter I think and then I'll quit, I swear it. I seem to hear someone pounding at my door, demanding entrance and in my mind's-eye I hear "dammit Sassenach, open the bloody door." Before I can completely rouse myself from this
waking-dream the bolt gives way and a figure, garbed head to foot in black, stands towering over me. The tall, squint-eyed LP officer takes me by the arm and sneering says, "Ma'am, you're going to have to come with
me. We understand that you have two college degrees but that you are in possession of controlled substances, er, I mean, books and that said substances, er, books have been purchased with the intent to distribute
romance fiction." I stand there, reading glasses like a lead weight around my neck, empty coffee cup to hand, the table littered with the remains of earlier non-literary fixes. I know I've been made, but I'm desperate..._King Farewell_ is due out in less than a month. I can
feel sweat start to insidiously trickle between my breasts, the tell-tale dampness hidden by the thick flannel of my nightgown; already, I'm beginning to feel the first insistent tremors, the "shakes" that signal my need, the driving hunger not to be denied. "Oh God, no, please, not this,
not now. They'll throw The Book at me this time," I think to myself. "I can't spend the next twenty years reading Theodore Dreiser and the collected works of Dostoevsky.""But Officer," I whisper softly, looking at him from beneath my damp lashes, "perhaps we can come to some agreement..." I dare not look up,
afraid that he will notice my eyes, red-rimmed from reading into the small hours of the morning."Are you offering me a bribe, lady?" he
scowled down at me. "Are you suggesting I could be bought?"Now I was really frightened
and my lips began to tremble. "Oh no...not...I just thought...but of course you wouldn't..." I stammered. "I wouldn't what?" he asked suspiciously. The tartan flannel of my nightgown had slipped from one
shoulder revealing in contrast the creamy flesh beneath. I watched, expectant, as his eyes slowly burned a path down the column of my neck and across to my bared shoulder. I've got him now, I thought. He's only
a man, a local LP, surely no Elliott Ness...he couldn't possibly be immune....And then I heard it, that slight catch in his breath as his eyes finally came to rest on what I had intended for him to see all along. He licked his lips and I shivered again, this time with revulsion. He grabbed me,
big meaty hands on the exposed flesh of my shoulders, and purposefully pushed me back against the settee, er, couch. Before I could gather my wits, he lunged, grabbing the first edition copy of Joseph Wambaugh's _The
Onion Field_ and the box of donuts I kept on the shelf for just such an emergency. As he fled out the door and into the dark night I settled myself back down on the sofa, my legs tucked under me, my frayed, worn copy of _Outlander_ nestled lovingly on my lap and I smiled, a
small, secret, knowing smile...those donuts were
six months old.